The Adventures of Fionna and Cake
by Kittynicula
Summary: Well, my little series is dedicated to the gender-swapped versions of Finn and Jake. The stars are Fionna and Cake and you'll get to follow them on their adventures through the land of Ooo. Enjoy!


Chapter One

-The Elixir of Life

"Fionna! Fioooona!" The young girl blindly shot a hand out, striking something cold and squishy. "Ewww!" She shrieked, bolting upright in her bed and ended up inches from Marshall's face. It was upside down due to the fact he was suspended over her. He was floating on his back, arched like an upside down 'u.' Fionna's hand print shone like a red beacon against his pale blue skin.

"You jerk!" Fionna shouted, livid. "Didn't I tell you to stop sneaking into my room?!" She growled, reaching out to swat him again but Marshall just floated away, laughing. Stopping at a safe distance the vampire righted himself, now posed like he was sitting in a chair with his hands interlocked behind his head.

"Jerk?" He repeated, still laughing. "Would a jerk let you live in his house?" Fionna threw a pillow at him.

"This is _my_ house!"

"Well _I_ let you live here, remember?" To demonstrate his point Marshall moved a frame that held a picture of her and Cake to show a neatly written ML. Fionna rolled her eyes.

"Are you five? Just because your initials are written in every room in the house –which you added because that was _not_ there last night—doesn't mean it's yours!"

Marshall feigned offense, placing his hand over his still heart. "Would a jerk be here to tell you how to obtain immortality?"

Fionna stopped her motion to throw another pillow. It was her last one so she had to save her ammunition for a true offense. "Immortality?" She repeated slowly, an eyebrow raised skeptically. Marshall's face lit up, delighted at her interest as he nodded eagerly. "Why would you tell me how to become immortal?"

In the blink of an eye Marshall was suddenly inches from of her face again, bringing a rising heat to her cheeks.

"Because," he began, his expression utterly serious, "Who else would I want to torment for all eternity?"

The vampire floated out of the room, laughing, as Fionna threw another pillow at his head.

**_xxXXxx_**

Fionna had tossed on her usual outfit: A teal long sleeve shirt that stopped just past her elbows, a dark blue skort, knee high socks with two bright blue lines circling the hem, and her worn down mary jane shoes. And her bunny hat of course. She couldn't leave the house without that.

Pushing the locks of her golden hair away from her face, they refused to stay trapped in her wrap around hat, Fionna walked out of her room eager for the day. Cake, her cat, greeted Fionna with a flying leap to her face. Fionna could only utter a surprised squeak when the cat latched onto her head, completely covering her face.

"He's here! He's here!" Cake shrieked, hissing in her fright.

"Gerrof!" Fionna tried frantically to get Cake off. The cat was slowly suffocating her. A cold chill brushed against her, making Fionna shudder, when she heard a soft "Boo!"

Cake shrieked again, leaping off Fionna's face and onto a shelf and knocking everything off. Marshall's laughter echoed throughout the house as Fionna groaned. "Cake!" She shouted, exasperated, as her sword fell to the floor. "Pick that up!" She ordered gruffly and whirled to face a still laughing Marshall.

"And _you_! Stop scaring Cake!"

He held up his hands in mock surrender as he floated over to the couch, sitting down with a soft _thump_. "Alright, alright. Next time I'll let the cat kill you." He smirked as Fionna rolled her eyes.

What a morning.

"Now, about this immortality thing…" Fionna began, flopping down on the couch next to Marshall. She looked over at him. He had his head leaned back with his eyes closed. His shaggy black hair had been pushed back, revealing the two permanent bite marks on his neck. He was dressed in his usual red and black plaid long-sleeved shirt and blue jeans. His red and white sneakers peeked out from the folded hems. Fionna almost giggled as she imagined how long the jeans must really be on the vampire. A soft snore came from him and Fionna growled, shoving Marshall roughly. "Hey! Wake up!" He growled and threw her a glare. "Don't glare at me! You're the one who came here to bug me! So tell me!"

Marshall rolled over and ignored her so Fionna improvised by kicking his butt. "Oww!" he yowled and Fionna laughed. Rubbing his rump Marshall glared at her once again and let loose an angry hiss.

"Hey! I'm doing you a favor! Plus, I should be _sleeping_ right now! If you hadn't noticed, it's day time! And I sizzle when it hits me!" Fionna rolled her eyes and Cake filled in, playing a sad tune on a violin. Marshall took the hint and settled back on the crouch, lacing his arm around her shoulders. "Okay, so you really wanna know about this immortality thing? It won't be easy getting it…"

"Yes!" Fionna shouted excitedly, momentarily tolerating that Marshall had his arm around her shoulders. "Tell me, tell me, tell me!" Cake had put the violin down and had reluctantly made her way over. Even she couldn't keep away from the mention of an adventure.

"Alright, alright. Well, in order to get it, you're going to have to get the Elixir of Life." The two stared up at him blankly. "You've never heard of it?"

"Well, duh!" Cake retorted, sassy as ever. Marshall hissed at her, making the feline fluff up her tail as she darted under the table in her fright. Fionna smacked him. "I told you not scare her anymore!" Marshall shrugged without any remorse before continuing with his story.

"Anyway, the Elixir of Life is supposed to grant immortality to whoever drinks it. All it takes is one drop and you'll live forever! So think about it Fionna!" He pulled her closer, a huge grin on his face. "You could slay monsters for all eternity! You'd be a great hero!" Fionna's blue eyes were huge as she thought of the possibilities. Marshall had played on her weakness. She loved running around and slaying monsters with her sword. If she could do it forever then she would save all of Ooo from all the terrors of the land and Prince Gumball…Fionna felt her face heat. Maybe he would want to congratulate her by taking her to one of his Balls! And she'd be the guest of honor!

"Why're we still here? Lets go!" Fionna was on her feet and dragging Marshall to the door. She flung the door open, letting the sunshine in.

"N-No! Fionna! Wait—" Was all Marshall got out before the sun hit him. His skin immediately began to blister and he flung himself back, almost ripping Fionna's arm off in his desperate attempt to escape the sun. He hissed in pain on the floor while Cake cackled in the background. Fionna ran over to him, crouching next to him in the patch of shade he had found. Glaring at Cake, Fionna hesitantly put a hand against his shoulder. Marshall was facing away from her, huddled on the ground.

"I'm soo sorry Marshall! I completely forgot…." Marshall looked over his shoulder at Fionna, his pale skin already healing. Before her eyes the blisters began to fade away and Fionna was once again reminded that Marshall was not human. In fact, she was the odd one, for she was the only human in all of Ooo.

"It's okay Fionna." He laughed softly, "You can be so forgetful sometimes. We can leave in a couple minutes, I just have to get dressed." Marshall then floated upwards, drifting over to her room and shutting the door behind her. Fionna blinked. Marshall had clothes in her room!?

"What the—Cake! Did you know Marshall had clothes in there?" She demanded, going over to the table and dragging her friend out from under her safe haven.

"Uh…yeah…" She kneaded her paws together guiltily.

"Why didn't you tell me!?"

"He told me not to tell you!" With an exasperated sigh Fionna placed Cake back on the floor. She really needed to have a chat with Marshall about personal space.

When they were ready to leave the three left the tree house. Marshall was dressed in a pitch black trench coat, sunglasses, and a wide-brimmed hat. Fionna had laughed so hard when she first saw him like that. She had thought maybe he was going for a Van Helsing look but had kept the comment to herself despite his pestering.

"C'mon! It's this way!" Marshall shouted, floating in the direction of a very foreboding patch of land. There was a dark, ominous cloud surrounding a huge forest. The trees were almost as tall as mountains and the leaves—

Fionna shrieked when she spotted one. It fell at the velocity of a dropped bowling ball. Fionna and Cake darted out of the way, barely avoiding it. The leaf landed with a thud, leaving a dent in the ground. The two friends inched their way towards the massive leaf. It was easily the size of a house and probably just as heavy. Nestled inside it was a large snake. It was coiled in slumber. The snake was black, almost a dark blue in the sun, with yellowing spines starting from the base of its head all the way down to its tail. Fionna absently wondered how it could be coiled so tightly when it was sleeping. Did it poke holes in itself?

Cake's eyes lit up at the sight of it and leaped at the snake before Fionna could warn her not to. The snake woke up, startled, and hissed at the feline that dared to disturb its slumber. It reared its ugly head, crimson eyes staring down at Cake.

"Cake! Why did you do that!?" Fionna shouted as she leaped inside the leaf, drawing out her sword.

"I couldn't help it! I thought it was yarn!" Fionna gaped at her best friend.

"Yarn…with spikes!?"

"What? You've never heard of spiky yarn?" Cake demanded before the snake lunged at the cat. Cake dodged and the snake hit the leaf, going through the thin layer and landing in the grass from the force of its lunge. Holding up her sword in a half swing, Fionna charged after the snake. Swinging down with all the force she could muster Fionna let out a grunt of frustration when the snake slithered away just in time.

Yanking the sword out of the ground she looked up at Marshall angrily. "Aren't you going to help!?" She demanded while Cake distracted the snake by enlarging herself. Cake possessed stretchy powers, able to shrink and enlarge herself –or any limbs—at any time when she needed to. Her powers had helped the two friends out of many situations, something Fionna was very grateful for. Cake had currently made herself huge and playing a literal game of cat and mouse. She stamped her paws close to the animal, making it slither this way and that to avoid being squashed.

Marshall only laughed. "Nah! I'm more of an observer than anything else, but I'll gladly play you a tune." He pulled out his battle axe. It was blood red and almost the length of his body. It had been modified into a guitar and Marshall gently strummed the chords. A few notes resonated from the instrument and Fionna shook her fist at the vampire.

"You bastard!" She shouted up at him before a yowl caught her attention. She turned around to see Cake shrink back to her normal size, clutching one of her paws.

"I stepped on it! I stepped on it!" Cake yowled, hopping around in pain before sticking the injured paw in her mouth. The snake, dazed with being stepped on but saved by its spikes, didn't want to contend with Cake again so turned its attention to Fionna. She gritted her teeth in determination and gripped her sword tighter.

Without any hesitation the snake started to slither towards Fionna. It was rather far away and was picking up speed. It reached Fionna incredibly fast, so fast that she only had time to leap over the snake. Turning around, Fionna was just in time to see the snake turn sharply as well, so fast that the end of its tail reached its mouth in a large circle. The snake opened its fanged mouth and clamped down. The momentum of its sharp turn made it upright, making the slithering snake a spiked wheel. It rolled towards Fionna and the girl dodged out of the way once more. "Cake!" She called, "Stop it from rolling!" Fionna shouted as she tucked legs in to roll. When she was on her feet Fionna whirled around to see Cake on all fours again. The cat shrunk down to a size that Fionna couldn't follow with her own eyes. She held her breath waiting for what would happen when Cake suddenly became visible again. She was in the middle of the snake wheel, her claws latched on different points of its underbelly. Cake then grew until she was big enough to slow the snake down to a stop. Without the right momentum the snake fell over and unhinged from its tail.

Cake unhooked from the animal and Fionna rushed over. "Are you okay?" She asked worriedly and Cake nodded, her eyes still trained on the snake. She also gazed at the snake. It was still. Fionna poked it with her sword. "Is it dead?" She asked, her tone of disbelief when the snake suddenly puffed up in size. Its skin stretched before quickly shrinking, sending the spikes that lined its spine towards her and Cake. With a shriek the two hit the ground, the spikes sailing harmlessly over them. One of spikes caught Fionna's shirt, ripping it, something she didn't notice till she was standing up again. Feeling a breeze she touched her back and was surprised to find bare skin and not fabric. She groaned and decided to leave it. It wasn't like she was showing off anything.

Fionna helped Cake off the ground. "Thanks hun!" Her friend cheered happily at the sight of the unconscious snake. "Yay! We defeated it!" Fionna wasn't so sure.

"I don't think so…but lets leave before it wakes up…" She ushered Cake away, who was more interested in pretending that the snake was yarn again since it wouldn't attack back, and heard the rustling of grass too late. Slimy scales were suddenly wrapped around her and Cake as the snake slowly started to squeeze the life out of them like a boa constrictor. The snake's grip around them tightened painfully and Fionna couldn't breathe. Her vision began to dim as her body was starved of oxygen and Cake was faring no better. But just as sudden as it came their pain was over. They spilled over to the ground while coil upon coil of snake fell on top of them. Fionna wormed her way out of the tangle of snake and looked to see the animal's head was missing. Marshall was twirling his battle axe while tossing the snake head up with his other hand.

Fionna smiled up at him. "My hero!"She shouted, clasping her hands together and pressing them against the side of her face. Marshall rolled his eyes.

"I didn't do it for you." He snapped before sinking his fangs into the snake's head. The color drained from the snake's corpse. Specifically, the black from the snake's scales. Instead of blood Marshall fed off the color black to sustain himself. When he had drained the head he floated over to the dead body and ate his fill. Wiping his mouth with his wrist he grinned at the gaping Fionna. "What? You wanted me to be your knight in shining armor? That's more lover boy's apartment." Fionna felt her cheeks redden. Marshall was referring to Prince Gumball, the boy she had been crushing on for as long as she could remember. But he was older than her and saw her more as a younger sister than anything else. It was pathetic how much she yearned for him yet he obviously had no feelings for her.

"Shut up! Just take us to that stupid Elixir!" She snapped and Marshall winked at her before darting over. Again, only inches from her face.

"Fine, I'll take you, but just to warn you, this was only the first of many trials you'll face to obtain the Elixir of Life. Are you willing to face utter peril and danger to obtain immortality?" In response Fionna snatched away Marshall's battle axe and darted into the forest. Cake darted in after her as a loud roar echoed behind them.

"_Give me back my guitar_!" Marshall snarled behind them. She didn't have to look behind her to know that the vampire had transformed to some hideous beast in his rage. No one touched his guitar. Ever.

Laughing, Fionna and Cake played catch with the guitar while evading the harsh claws of Marshall's giant wolf form. His face had elongated and his body had enlarged with the bulk of muscle. His fingernails became claws and his clothes were ripped. Instead of being scared the two friends just found it amusing as they kept the guitar away from him. Eventually, he did catch it though and thoroughly boxed their ears as punishment.

"Sheesh, you can't even take a joke." Fionna growled, rubbing her head tentatively. Her head was literally pounding and Cake was faring no better.

"No, I don't think he can." The feline muttered bitterly with a hiss in Marshall's direction. The vampire, back in his normal form, ignored them as he tuned his guitar while floating behind them. They walked together in a stony silence for awhile before Marshall finally broke it.

"Ummm…Fionna?" He spoke a bit tentatively, a tone she rarely heard on him. Fionna turned around, an eyebrow cocked.

"What?"

"….Half of your shirt's missing."

Fionna stared at him. "Yeah, that's because when the snake released its spikes it caught on my shirt." She was confused. It was only a small tear. Nothing to fret about. Marshall's eyes were no longer on her face and Fionna looked down and gasped, horrified. Half her shirt _was_ missing! Actually, that was currently the understatement of the year. She barely had any shirt left. It stopped right below her breasts and even then the fabric was still disintegrating. Fionna immediately covered herself and Marshall's face fell.

"I shouldn't have said anything." Fionna moved to smack him but realized that only showed off her soon-to-be-exposed chest.

"Cake!" She hissed. "Help me!"

"Hold on girl! I got ya!" Her friend chirped, digging into Fionna's back pack and bringing out a spare shirt. "I always come prepared!" She laughed before taking the rest of Fionna's shirt off, completely defeating the purpose of covering herself.

"Cake!" Fionna repeated, her voice distraught as she tried to cover her bra. Marshall was grinning from ear to ear, clearly enjoying himself.

"Wait till I tell lover boy about this!" Not even trying to comprehend what that could possibly mean Fionna tugged her shirt on as fast as she could, Marshall laughing the entire time.

"Oh shut up! Lets keep going!" Still laughing, Marshall swooped in behind her and scooped her up bridal style.

"Awww, are you embarrassed? You shouldn't be. I've always wondered what you looked like with-"

"Marshall, please stop talking." Fionna refused to look at him and began to wriggle around. "And put me down!" With another unabashed laugh Marshall set Fionna down who walked away very fast. Cake glared at Marshall before darting after her in a flurry of limbs.

"Fionna! You're supposed to go this way!" Fionna turned to see Marshall grinning, waving a hand in the opposite direction. Groaning, Fionna tried to hide her embarrassment but failed. So many humiliating things were happening at once. Today was just turning out to be a horrible day. First she couldn't beat the snake by herself, then her shirt disintegrated, and now she couldn't even storm off without being bothered. It didn't help that she wasn't exactly sure where she was. Without another word she followed Marshall deeper into the forest. She kept an eye out for anymore falling leaves. She didn't want to be squished to death. It just didn't sound like a very fun way to die. Not that she wanted to die anyway.

**_xxXXxx_**

"How much longeeeeer?" Cake demanded. "I'm hungryyy!" She clung to Fionna's leg, her claws digging into Fionna's skin.

"Ouch! Stop it! I don't know! Ask Marshall!" She hissed, trying to pry Cake off her leg. It was no use. She wouldn't let go till she wanted to.

"Awww heck no! I'm not asking him anything! I'll just ask you!" The feline nuzzled Fionna's leg lovingly and she smiled down at the cat. She felt bad for wanting Cake off her leg so badly…but she was really heavy.

"Okay, okay! I'll ask him!" With a happy squeal Cake hopped off her leg and urged Fionna to go talk to the Vampire. With a roll of her eyes she hurried to catch up to Marshall. He was floating at a leisurely pace, but with Cake on her leg for the past ten minutes they had fallen behind considerably. Cake followed close behind, though she kept her distance from Marshall.

"Hey! Are we almost there?"

"Nope," was the quick response.

"What!? When will we get there?" Marshall turned back to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I said that this would take awhile, so be patient!" He snapped and Fionna scowled at his tone but left him alone. What got his underwear in a twist? She was the one who almost lost her shirt and exposed herself to the world. The trio reached a rather large clearing. Fionna's eyes were immediately drawn to the center where there was a huge pink blob. It was in the shape of the lake, but there was definitely no water. In fact, it looked like…

"Bubblegum!" Cake shouted and made a beeline for the lake's shore.

"No, Cake! Wait!" Marshall and Fionna shouted, running after the excited cat. Marshall reached her first and stopped Cake mid-leap from jumping into the lake of bubblegum.

"Hey! Put me down! Put me down!" Cake shouted and squirmed violently to escape the Vampire's grip. When she wasn't getting anywhere Cake chomped down on Marshall's wrist. He gave a startled yelp and let the cat go where she spat out a glob of saliva.

"Ewwwwww! That was like….like….eating a dead guy!" Marshall glared at Cake and hissed angrily.

"You little—" Someone snickered. Marshall and Cake whirled on Fionna.

"What!? You think this is funny!?" They both demanded and Fionna took a step back, holding her hands up.

"That was not me! I swear!" Fionna waved her hand frantically to try and calm the advancing duo as they glared at her. "I didn't laugh! Really!" There was another snicker and they all froze. Slowly they turned to face the pink blob of supposed-to-be water again. A small patch opened up on the gooey surface and the sound of a chuckle escaped. They edged towards the lake shore and peered into the slimy texture. Another hole opened up right in front of them and the sound of laughter reached their ears, a small gust ruffling their hair.

"Is the lake…laughing?" Fionna asked hesitantly, unsure of what she was actually witnessing. The other two nodded slowly when the hole in front of them got bigger. And bigger. And bigger. They scrambled away from the lake's edge and watched with wide eyes as something rose to the surface. It seemed to be half a face, from the bridge of one's nose down. The part that was facing them was all muscle and bone, formed to make a small boat the three of them could sit in. Even from where they were sitting the mouth was opening and closing, chewing up gum and then spitting it out.

"Ewwww! So this is all…ABC gum?" Fionna looked absolutely disgusted as she considered the idea. Cake and Marshall looked at her with blank faces. "ABC gum?" Silence. "….Already Been Chewed?" It was like a light bulb went off.

"Oooooo—"

"ooooh!" They both chimed and Fionna rolled her eyes.

"That is pretty disgusting when you think about it. And I was gonna jump in that!" Cake looked disgusted at the thought yet the feline stayed positioned at the edge of the boat after they all piled inside it. Fionna started to walk towards her friend, worried that she might jump in anyway.

"Cake?" She called out warily, her tone filled with concern. Was she really still going to jump in? She had said that she wasn't planning on it…Fionna reached her cat and sneaked a peek at her friend. The cat's pupils were dilated, completely engulfing her dark brown irises and almost overtaking the whites of her eyes. Fionna uttered a gasp. Cake was entranced. "Cake?" She called again, trying to bring back her friend. She heard Marshall laugh from the back of the boat and she whirled to face him. The vampire was twirling the butt of his battle axe on his finger like a basket ball, his face in an ugly sneer.

"It's the sound of the laughter." He gestured to the 'water,' the boat methodically opening and closing its mouth in an annoying rhythm. It was like listening to someone chew food with their mouth open. The gum it chewed went through the mouth and then out some unseen opening in the end. It was the only way their boat was making any ground. "It brings out the current desires of the living. Thankfully, I'm unaffected." Fionna glared at Marshall, surprised at the spark of anger that ignited within her. She took a menacing step towards him and withdrew her sword, momentarily forgetting about Cake. Marshall's eyes widened a fraction and jumped into the air, taking his axe with him, barely missing the sharp edge of her sword.. "Maaaybe it wasn't the smartest idea to tick you off in the middle of the lake." Fionna ignored him.

"I'll kill you!" She screamed up at him, tugging at her sword that was now embedded in the flesh of the boat. She was angry beyond reason, too far gone to realize it was the effects of the lake that was making her so delirious with rage. After a few tugs it came free and she pointed the tip of her blade to Marshall who was circling above the boat like a vulture. Sometimes she really hated that he could always float beyond her reach. "I'm tired of you treating Cake like dirt! She's my friend and you're going to be nice to her!" Fionna screamed and was about to leap recklessly after the vampire when she saw Marshall's face go pale. Well, paler. She turned around and gasped.

Cake was nowhere to be seen.

Fionna ran to the edge, grasping the rail –it was made from bone but she ignored that detail—and looked around frantically for her friend. "Cake!" She shouted over and over again. Marshall continued to float above the boat, offering no help. Fionna growled. She would deal with him later. The young girl stilled, straining every muscle to try and hear her friend.

"Phhhhoowwn" Fionna was immediately alert and she finally spotted her friend. Cake was almost completely submerged a ways from the boat. Without a second thought, Fionna leaped over the edge of the boat and was in the lake. Instead of being submerged, like one would if jumping into a lake of water, she only sunk down to her ankles. Fionna made a face. It was…sticky, and grossly warm. The gum latched onto her skin like tape and it was difficult lift a foot let alone her whole body. Fionna had no idea how she was going to reach her friend but she pushed that aside. She had to save her! Fionna thought she heard Marshall shouting after her but she didn't hear. Her attention was on Cake, still slowly sinking.

With her determination set on hyper-drive, Fionna started to move towards Cake. It was exhausting work. It was like trying to move through quicksand, and even came with a sinking sensation…Fionna looked down and gasped. She was now shin deep. Her sense of alarm grew drastically. Her gaze darted over to Cake, her friend's head was only visible, a paw waving frantically for her to hurry up. "I'm coming Cake!" Fionna shouted and doubled her efforts. She had to get there!

With each step she managed to take there was a loud sucking sound as her foot left the icky goo. She tried not to think about how she was wading in ABC gum. It was better if she didn't think about it. By the time she reached Cake Fionna was up to her abdomen in gum. At this rate the girl knew deep in her gut that they weren't going to make it back. Cake's nose, mouth, and her frantically waving paw was the only thing that was left. Fionna, fear gripping her throat, grasped Cake's paw and pulled. It did little to help the feline. Cake resurfaced a little but, since Fionna had to lean back to try and find more weight, was now mid-torso in goo. She allowed herself to give a helpless sob. They were doomed! And Marshall didn't seem interested in helping. Fionna tugged again and again but nothing happened. Cake was completely submerged now and she was soon to follow. She tilted her head back to try and gain more time for the gum was now up to her jaw line. In about a minute she would be submerged as well. Fionna, despite her best efforts, started to cry. She didn't want to die. Her whole purpose for coming here was to try and find a way to not die, to keep adventuring forever. Why had she expected it to be easy? Marshall had even warned her that it was going to be dangerous…and why wasn't he trying to help them? Fionna couldn't understand it and the depth of his betrayal cut deep.

The sticky goo reached her ears now and was speeding up. In no time her face was sinking below the surface. She closed her eyes, defeated, and yielded to the bubbly pink lake of doom.

Suddenly, she felt something grasp onto her shoulder. Fionna tried to open her eyes and panicked when she couldn't. Her lungs were burning and she grasped her hand tighter around Cake's paw. What was going on? She didn't know which way was up or down but she was being tugged in a certain direction. Slowly, but surely, she was dragged. When her face broke the surface of the goo Fionna finally opened her eyes unable to see very clearly due to the clumps of gum that barred her vision on her eyelashes. She looked up weakly and saw that Marshall was pulling them out. Fionna was confused. Hadn't he left them to die?

"Stupid girl. You didn't really think I was going to let you die, did you?" He snarled as if he had read her mind. In a way, she wouldn't be surprised. He was the King of Vampires. It wouldn't be too far a stretch if he could read minds. After a few more tugs, Cake popped free, and Marshall carried them back to the boat. He placed them all on the floor as the two gasped greedily for air. When Fionna didn't feel like her lungs were about to burst anymore she turned her head to glare Marshall who was back to leaning against the side of the boat, hands locked behind his head.

"Why did you wait so long?" She gasped, her voice scraggly. Her blue eyes were accusatory as she glared at the Vampire who looked completely unabashed.

"To teach you that you shouldn't make stupid decisions. You won't live that long, even if you have immortality, if you just act on impulse." Even though his body looked relaxed his tone was frigid. He cracked open an eye, smirking at her stunned expression. He was unmoved by the tears that started to fall from her eyes. She could've died! And he waited to the last possible second just to teach her a lesson!? Fionna was outraged! Marshall just closed his eye and leaned back even farther. "You could've asked me to go get Cake. That would have been simple enough to a cotton ball. And I've talked to one. Not exactly invigorating conversation." Fionna just stared at him, unseeing. And she thought he was her friend? What kind of friend did something like this!? "But you just leaped in there—"

"Enough!" Fionna was startled to realize the strangled cry had come from her own throat. It sounded weak. Broken. She had truly thought her life was going to end and this man…this Vampire, saved her. It wasn't enough that she now owed Marshall her life, but he had to chastise her too!? Did he have no heart? Deep down, Fionna knew the answer, but she refused to believe it. She had dared to believe that Marshall saw her as a friend and not some annoying girl that lived in his tree house, but apparently she was wrong. He saw her as a child that needed to be taught a lesson, reprimanded even. It was humbling…and it enraged her. "Just get us to the temple." She hissed before resting her head back on the boat's floor. It was soft, like skin. Fionna didn't want to think about how she was actually lying in muscles and sinews. At least there wasn't any blood.

_**xxXXxx**_

Fionna was roughly shaken awake by Marshall. She blinked her eyes open. She had fallen asleep? The ordeal had been more exhausting than she had thought. She pushed the vampire away, still furious at him. He gave a harsh hiss. "Get out of the boat." He snarled but Fionna ignored him. She turned to Cake. The cat wasn't moving but she could see the rise and fall of her chest. A wave of relief washed over Fionna and she cradled her cat in her arms. Rising, she finally clambered out of the boat to the impatient Marshall. Seeing she was out the Vampire then started floating towards the temple.

Fionna gazed up at the massive structure. It was a step-pyramid, a ziggurat. The entire thing, though huge, was on the verge of destruction. The rocks crumbled dangerously, suggesting it might collapse inward at any moment, and the surface was defaced with various graffiti. She wasn't surprised to see Marshall's name surfacing numerous times on the rock face. Fionna grunted, not wanting to be reminded of that Brute, and trudged on carrying her unconscious friend. She followed Marshall up the steps and into the temple. When she looked below her jaw dropped at what she saw.

There were people everywhere. Dancing. Loud music thrummed in her ears and made Cake stir. The feline opened her eyes sleepily and, seeing Fionna, squealed and leaped at her, almost making the girl fall down the steps. Fionna was laughing though and hugging her friend tightly. "I thought I lost you!" She choked out, her throat tight. Cake whispered soft assurances that eventually calmed the both of them down. She then hopped out of Fionna's arms and began to walk down the stairs. "Lets check this party out!" Cake called out, waving her down. Fionna smiled. Yeah. She was okay.

Hurrying after her friend the two reached the dance floor. Marshall was nowhere in sight. Fionna huffed, irritated at herself for even thinking about him, before pushing on. She tried to keep up with Cake but soon lost her and Fionna was alone in a throng of people. The bodies were packed so close together that it was hard for her to maneuver in between people without being rude. However, she was trying to find Cake who was tiny among all these people. Soon enough Fionna was pushing her way through people. That was when she started to feel like something was wrong. Nobody turned to give her rude looks or gave cries of protest. They continued to dance as if no one was pushing past them as if they were completely oblivious to their surroundings. The lights, much like a disco rave, were blinding and obscured most of the dancer's faces and bodies. It was like she was pushing past shadows. Suddenly, she felt someone grasp her arm. Fionna shrieked and turned around, unsheathing her sword.

"No! Wait!" Fionna paused, straining to see who was talking to her. It wasn't Marshall. This man was too scrawny, which was saying something compared to that Vampire, and his voice was different. Who was this person? Did she, somehow, know him? Then, he came closer and Fionna gasped. He was practically skin and bones. His face was gaunt and hollow, his eyes sunken into their sockets. He looked like a skeleton trying to pass off as human. The man's eyes, wide with fear, gazed at her, pleading. "Help me!" His grip tightened and Fionna felt her skin crawl when she noticed something else. He had nubs for legs. They were bloody and bone could be easily seen but the man…he kept dancing. His face was scrunched up in pain and Fionna felt sick to her stomach, but to her, there was an obvious answer.

"Why don't you just stop dancing?" Fionna asked, her voice shaky.

"I…can't….stop…" He said through gritted teeth and Fionna was confused. Why couldn't he stop? What was going on? Just then a booming voice assaulted her ears and Fionna jumped. Startled, she looked around trying to find the source. Her eyes landed on an old, shriveled man, standing high up on a pedestal. He had a pair of headphones held up to his ear in one hand and the other messing with the records on some fancy machine. He was creating all of the music that resonated in the room so loud it made things hard to hear. Fionna gaped. This grandpa was the DJ?

"Who here wants to paaaaaaartaaaaaaay!?" The old man shouted in an exceptionally loud voice. It somehow carried over the music. Most of the crowd just kept dancing but a few let out half-hearted cries in response. Fionna squinted her eyes to get a better look at the people around her. They looked utterly exhausted and in similar states to the old man still grasping her arm. The oldest people were the ones in the worst condition. They were dancing on bloody nubs, seemingly unable to stop. The younger ones weren't as bad, in fact, some still looked like they were having the time of their lives. Others looked tired. She even saw one trying to stop dancing in vain, but they were all slaves to the music. But that just raised an important question. Why wasn't she affected?

Pulling her arm from the old man's grasp, she gave him an apologetic look before continuing her search for Cake. After a few long, worry-filled minutes Fionna finally found her friend. She was dancing with a little bird, eyeing the poor creature hungrily. Every time Cake got close she would try and gobble the thing up. "Cake!" Fionna scolded, both for leaving her and being rude to her dance partner. Cake looked up with a guilty expression on her face but continued to dance. Fionna, frustrated, pinched the skin between her nose in exasperation. Bodies were still being pressed up against her and she angrily pushed them away. "Come _on_ Cake! This is no time to fool around!" She snapped and she grabbed Cake's arm and pulled her away.

The bird followed.

"Skat!" She snarled at the bird, pulling her friend close. The bird didn't heed her and Fionna rolled her eyes, doubling her efforts to get Cake away. Where was Marshall? She didn't know how to get out of here. Her eyes then landed on a bright exit sign and she shook her head at the simplicity of it. That was too easy…With an uneasy feeling in her gut Fionna kept dragging Cake towards the exit, her little bird friend following. The bird was still dancing away. Fionna shook her head again but sighed with relief when they reached the exit. Finally. "C'mon" she told Cake before walking through the exit. When her hand –the one that was holding Cake—tried to pass through the doorframe, a searing pain scalded her hand, making Fionna let go with a sharp intake of breath. What the hell was that!? Fionna whirled around to see what happened and her heart sunk.

Cake was dancing. In fact, she had never stopped. The feline looked panicked and scared. Again she tried to leave but was bounced back by an invisible barrier. Fionna looked around wildly, trying to find the reason why Cake couldn't leave. It didn't take long. The poor souls that were so close to the exit were gazing at it in longing, wanting to leave. However, they had the same problem that Cake had. They were still dancing. And Fionna…she had walked through without a problem. That was because whatever was affecting them wasn't affecting her! Why wasn't she affected? Fionna scrunched her eyes tight and grasped the sides of her head tightly. "C'mon Fionna! Think! Think!"

"Isn't it obvious?" A mocking voice whispered in her ear. Fionna whirled to see Marshall, his face still in a sneer. She glared at him. He was still angry with her when he didn't deserve to be.

"I don't want to talk to you! I'll figure this out on my own!" She snapped and turned around again, dashing back into the dancing crowd. Again Marshall called after her but she didn't respond or acknowledge it. That Vampire could rot in Hell for all that he was worth. A quiet thought nagged at her brain, instantly making her feel ashamed for thinking such a horrible thing.

_You_ _wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for him…_

Fionna shook her head, pushing through the crowd. "Well I wouldn't be in this mess because of him either!" She snapped to herself. No one in the crowd noticed her and she focused on trying to find Cake again. When she had been talking to Marshall the feline had disappeared with her dance partner. She felt a hand on her shoulder and whirled around again. It was Marshall. Of course it was him. He was the only other person not affected here. What did that mean!? The answer refused to reveal itself but Marshall grinned with a knowing smile. The bastard knew. Without a word he pointed at the grandpa DJ and Fionna smacked her forehead. Of course!

She didn't pause to say thank-you, she just rushed over to the stand. His pedestal, that was way above the crowd, thankfully had a circling flight of stairs that led up to it. In no time she was at the top and waving frantically to get his attention. The old man ignored her and when she tried to get him to stop playing she was blown back by a harsh spell, sent flying off the pedestal and into the dancing crowd below. The wind whipped at her hair and the girl was already imagining how it would feel like to splat against the ground when she landed in someone's arms. Looking up it was none other than the bastard Vampire himself. "Let go of me!" She growled and tried to wrestle out of his arms only to realize that they were still floating. He had caught her in mid air.

"Still want to be put down?" He asked darkly, his eyes glinting with a malicious humor. Fionna quailed for a second under such a stare but she raised her chin in quiet defiance. She would not let this vampire scare her anymore. "Good girl." He mused with a lazy smile, whirling her around in a circle. As if…they were dancing. Fionna, confused, wasn't sure what to do. She already wasn't that great of a dancer, and that was on the ground. And she was being carried bridal style. Did this even count as dancing? The question must've been clear on her face because Marshall was quick to answer.

"No, this isn't dancing. That's the point. The wizard's spell will only affect you if you dance with a partner. It's laced in with the music. But if you're not really dancing…you can just leave." Marshall grinned with a playful wink. Fionna's cheeks heated. So it really was that simple.

"But Cake—"

"Will be fine." He interrupted smoothly. "If we get his attention then the music will stop and everyone will be free." Fionna raised her eyebrow at him. He knew a lot about this place. Marshall sighed.

"It used to be my feeding ground, okay? A lot of people wear black to this stupid thing and since they can't stop dancing they're easy targets." Fionna just gaped at him.

"So you could've stopped this grandpa and you just let him control these people!? Just so you can eat!?" She was in shock. She didn't think Marshall would ever do such a thing! But then again, Fionna had never thought he would leave her to die either. There were a lot of things she didn't know about this Vampire. Things she didn't trust. Marshall rolled his eyes.

"I'm just doing a favor; from one immortal to another." He explained. Fionna raised her eyebrow at him again. Marshall sighed. Exasperated.

"Isn't it obvious!? This spell saps away the youth of these people too. It keeps him young! All he has to do is party every night. It's genius really." Fionna shook her head in disbelief.

"So what happens when the sun comes up?" Frankly, she was more surprised that the day had passed that quickly.

"The spell ends and people collapse on the floor in exhaustion. They sleep all day and then are roused by the spell again after dusk. Spells are more powerful at night." He gave a toothy grin as they continued to spin around in lazy circles. Fionna was getting a bit dizzy. She didn't know if it was because of all the information or for drifting around 'dancing' for so long. She laid her head against his chest, taking deep breaths to try and stop the dizzying sensation. It wasn't working and she vaguely realized that Marshall had tensed up and fallen silent. They continued to twirl and twirl until a familiar booming voice called out to them.

"Marshall!" The grandpa DJ called out to the vampire with obvious familiarity. He was still playing though. This man was definitely skilled at multi-tasking. She squinted her eyes at him and saw that he was indeed getting younger. Instead of looking ancient he looked like he was in his early forties now. He was changing before her eyes. Fionna looked for Cake in the crowd. This was bad! They just needed to stop this guy, get Cake, and get out. Now! Cake could be losing some of her life right now! "What brings you here? Did you bring that pretty little lady for me?" Marshall surprised Fionna by pulling her protectively against his chest. The DJ laughed. "Okay, maybe not, but you know you shouldn't be dancing with my music. I could end up taking your immortality. You don't want that!" The greed that showed in the old man's face made it obvious that he wouldn't mind taking Marshall's immortality at all. Fionna felt sick. This man was crazy! They had to stop him!

"No, I don't. But I do want our friend there." Marshall pointed to Cake in the crowd and Fionna pulled at his shirt to get his attention. He ignored her. "Once we get her we'll be on our way." They still continued to twirl, edging closer and closer to the grandpa. The DJ's face scrunched up with a mean look.

"Now you know I can't do that. Once someone falls under my spell they're mine…forever." His eyes glinted malevolently and Fionna resisted the urge to gut that man right then and there. Marshall tightened his hold on her to keep her in place. Fionna glared up at him. Maybe that's why he had pulled her close to him earlier; to keep her from doing anything stupid.

"You either give us Cake now or I'll destroy your whole operation." He growled and the grandpa just laughed. In response to Marshall's threat he put more vigor into the song he was playing. People danced faster and harder and his youth increased ten-fold. He was now in his early thirties. However, he failed to notice that they were even closer to his precious machine now. When they were close enough Marshall took a well-aimed kick at the DJ's machine, knocking it aside. He then let go of Fionna and that was all the incentive she needed.

Pushing off from Marshall with her feet, she launched herself into the air, drawing her sword. The golden sword glinted like the sun in the flashing lights as she sunk the blade into the grandpa's chest. Except, he wasn't a grandpa anymore. He was her age. When her feet hit the ground Fionna scrambled back, eyes wide. Marshall landed beside her, placing a hand on her trembling shoulder.

"H-He looks like me…" Fionna managed to say in her shock as the young boy slowly died in front of her. After a few strangled gasps the boy collapsed on the ground, the sword sticking out of his chest. Her aim had been true. It had pierced his heart.

"He might look like you, but watch." Before her eyes Fionna watched as the boy steadily grew older, turning back into the man that he really was. It wasn't long before the man turned to dust as the centuries caught up with him. His spell had been the only thing sustaining him. "In reality, he had died long ago." He looked down at her. Was that worry in his eyes? Fionna couldn't tell. "Come on. Lets go find Cake." He then lifted her up by the armpits and floated her down to the floor. Many of the people that had been dancing died on the spot from exhaustion, missing limbs…or just crumbled to dust like the old man. But those that could be saved had their youth that was stolen from them returned, and eagerly ran for the door they had entered so long ago. They wanted to go back home, return to the lives that they had lived before coming here. Fionna looked back at them sadly. Would their loved ones still be alive? How different was the world to them now? She swallowed. Fionna hoped they could find some place in the new world they were about to live in. They deserved it.

"Fionna! I found her!" Cake was fast asleep again, utterly exhausted. Fionna shook her head. The fat feline had only been dancing for about thirty minutes. With a small laugh Fionna picked Cake up again and cradled her friend to her bosom. "Thank goodness you're alright." She murmured in Cake's ear as she walked to the exit sign. They went opposite of the receding crowd for, even though they were tired, they were still on a mission: to find immortality. Marshall followed behind them, looking sullen for some reason. Fionna ignored him, unable to ignore the excited bubbles that were surfacing in her chest. They were close! She could feel it!

_**xxXXxx**_

They walked in silence for a long time, their footsteps echoing in the small, dank hallway. Fionna thought the silence was deafening. The only thing that made it bearable was Cake's soft little snores as she slept.

"What's your problem?" Fionna demanded, a sudden fit of anger enveloping her. Marshall glanced over at her and said nothing, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Well?" The girl persisted and the Vampire refused to answer, his silence defiant. She scoffed in disgust. "So you're not even going to explain yourself? Why are you so mad at me? I didn't do anything! I should be the one—"

"Didn't do anything? Didn't do anything? Fionna you have single-handedly almost killed yourself three times in one day!"

"Well if you would've helped—" Marshall threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Fionna, I won't be able to get you out of trouble every time you find yourself in a hairy situation. You have to learn to take care of yourself."

"Oh? So it's _my_ fault? Who's the one with vampire powers? Who thought up this whole adventure in the first place?" Marshall bared his teeth at her, frustration and anger oozing out of every pore of his body.

"Fine! I thought up this adventure, I'll admit to that, but I don't want you to die Fionna!" The girl, startled, fell silent. Her eyes were wide and Cake was suspiciously still. "I thought that you'd be able to handle yourself and that this would be fun! Do you have any idea how I would feel if you died and it was my fault?" Marshall had stopped walking and turned to face Fionna. His shoulders were trembling with anger as his onyx eyes bored into her blue ones, practically forcing her to see things his way. But, behind all that anger, Fionna saw a bit of vulnerability. It was enough to keep her from interrupting the vampire again. He took a shuddering breath to try and calm himself before he began again. "Look, I won't be there all the time to bail you out of trouble. You have to start taking care of yourself, alright?"

Fionna was still speechless. Her mouth hung open in a very unattractive way as she gaped at Marshall. Cake made a soft sound and her gaze darted over to the feline. Her friend motioned towards Fionna's mouth and she quickly shut it before turning her attention back to Marshall. "Take care of myself?" She repeated, her tone indignant. "What do you think I've been—" Fionna clamped her mouth shut again and recalled everything that had happened today. She clutched Cake tighter to her petite frame as every fight replayed in her mind. Fionna couldn't help but see the pattern that appeared before her eyes. That gargantuan snake: Marshall lopped off its head to save them. The bubblegum lake: Marshall had yanked them out of the gooey waters. The wizard dance party: Marshall figured out a plan to save Cake and get everyone out. Everything that had gone wrong Marshall had fixed it with quick thinking and immediate action. He might have grumped about it, but he had come through each time in the end.

There was no way she was going to admit Marshall was right, so Fionna didn't bother finishing her thought. She stormed past him, pushing a startled Marshall aside, and continued down the dank tunnel. Fionna was done talking and wasn't interested in what he had to say. She would rather die than admit Marshall was right. He would never let her live it down.

With a sullen Marshall following her Fionna reached a large room. The ceiling towered high above them, so far up that she couldn't even make out the roof. It was just a dark space, an inky blackness that could hide anything. Fionna repressed a shudder as a sense of foreboding washed over her. She had a feeling they were about to face their next trial.

Looking around, Fionna's eyes widened at the piles of bones littering the floor. They gleamed a pale ivory, looking almost yellow from the torch lights. The torches hung all along the wall but didn't improve the lighting in the room much. She could barely see a couple feet in front of her. This was going to be a problem for her. How could she face this next trial when she couldn't even see? Fionna looked down at Cake. Her feline friend was wide awake now, her onyx eyes glowing as what little light reflected off them. Cake could see just fine, and so could Marshall. Only Fionna was at a disadvantage here.

Walking into the large room Fionna, forgetting her anger, stuck close to Marshall. He seemed surprised though she couldn't imagine why, not when Fionna was trying to stay sane. She had an irrational fear of the dark, something she could never explain, and Fionna's imagination was running wild. She imagined various creatures scampering around in the darkness just beyond her field of vision. Fionna bit her lip and shuffled closer to Marshall. The Vampire huffed lightly and, with a tenderness that surprised her, gently grasped her arm. "It's okay," he whispered, "there's nothing in here…" Fionna gulped softly as the sentence hung in the air. Glancing up at him she saw that Marshall was a bit tense, scanning the room for any danger. _Yet_. Fionna finished softly in her mind. Cake, unable to stay in Fionna's embrace any longer, jumped out of her arms. Her claws skittered across the stone, causing a racket that made Fionna wince.

"Gosh girl! I couldn't even breathe!" Cake shouted angrily, smoothing down her ruffled fur. Fionna frantically tried to hush Cake. The cat didn't seem to understand the need to be quiet. "Don't you sass me! I almost _died_ and you're trying to keep me quiet? Well let me tell you-" A loud roar echoed through the room. The sheer force of the sound reverberated throughout the entire room. Cake's tail fluffed out immediately at the obvious sign of danger before darting to Fionna's side. Marshall pushed the two of them behind him, his expression feral. His teeth were bared in a ferocious snarl as he tried to pinpoint the source of the sound. Fionna had a sinking feeling. Were they going to have to face this monster in order to get that much closer to the Elixir of Life?

Another roar echoed through the room. Fionna brought her hands to her ears, scrunching her eyes shut in pain. She screamed, struggling to stay on her feet as the earth shook beneath her. Rocks fell from the inky darkness of the ceiling, crashing onto the ground dangerously close to them. When the echo died Fionna hesitantly uncovered her ears. Cake was waving wildly to her and saying something but Fionna couldn't understand it. She narrowed her eyes at her friend, straining her ears to hear. No sound came. Fionna began to panic. Had she gone deaf?

Marshall grasped her wrist, anything but gentle this time, and hauled her over behind one of the huge rocks that fell. It was wide enough to hide all three of them but they had to crouch in order to be hidden completely.

"What was that?" Fionna whispered. Or tried to. Since she still couldn't hear she had no idea how loud she was being. When Marshall winced Fionna had a feeling she wasn't being very quiet. His mouth moved and she stared with a blank look. She wasn't good at reading lips and, to be honest, staring at his mouth with such intensity was making her uncomfortable. Marshall seemed to realize she couldn't hear and turned to Cake. They seemed to be arguing and weren't paying any attention to her. Fionna frowned, frustrated at herself. She was even more useless now. Well, if they were too busy trying to figure out a plan, the least she could do was be on the look-out.

Scooting to the edge of the rock, Fionna poked her head out to try and find out what was happening. At first she didn't see anything. Then she saw a huge shadow pass by one of the torches. Fionna paled and darted back behind the rock. "Something's coming!" She whispered. Again, with how they winced Fionna feared she had shouted. Marshall and Cake shared a look, nodded, then leaped out into the open. Fionna cried out in alarm. What were they doing!?

"No guys! Wait!" She shouted, surprised when she heard her voice. It was still incredibly faint, but the ringing in her ears had stopped. Fionna didn't have time to feel relieved though. A deep, gravelly voice rumbled across the room, shaking the earth again.

"What are you doing here?" The voice asked as Fionna skidded to a halt behind her friends. They all looked around wildly but were unable to find the source.

"W-We're here to find the Elixir of Life!" Fionna squeaked out and Marshall tossed her a glare. Maybe that wasn't the smartest thing to say.

"Elixir…of Life?" The voice asked, sounding confused. "Is that what I'm guarding?" The trio looked at one another and shared a confusion of their own.

"How the hell do you have no idea what you're supposed to be guarding?" Marshall demanded. In all his bravado Fionna was able to notice the faint tremor that plagued the Vampire's hands.

"Silence!" The voice thundered, shutting Marshall up. Fionna tugged at Marshall's sleeve, begging for him to be quiet in this silent gesture. "I was born into the duty of defending an object my ancestors had forgotten long ago! My only purpose is to guard this object. That is my purpose in life!" The voice paused as if uncertain of how to go on. "So you will not have it!" Fionna raised an eyebrow. With that last remark the voice had lost its thunderous and dangerous appeal. It had raised a few octaves, reminding her of a petulant teenager.

"And how are you going to stop us?" Marshall demanded. Fionna looked over at him. Surely he had noticed the difference too? Cake was peering out from behind Fionna's legs, her expression now curious rather than frightened.

The voice seemed to falter. "…Well…I'll…" He seemed to be searching for the right word. Fionna shared a glance with Marshall. All the fear she had felt earlier seemed to evaporate within her. How fearsome could this guardian be? "Oh, that's right! I'll kill you!" The voice seemed happy that it had finally found the threat it was looking for before stepping out of the shadows. Fionna's eyes widened at the sight before her and she heard Marshall and Cake inhale sharply.

A huge pale blue dragon stood before them. It stood on its hind legs and towered above them. The massive beast had twenty arms, ten on each side that ended with fierce looking claws. Four massive wings spread from its back, but instead of the bat-like wings that Fionna was familiar with, the wings were covered in feathers. Intelligent green eyes glittered at them and Fionna felt herself shrink back behind Marshall. Opening its mouth, the dragon's maws seemed to glow orange as fire began to build up in the back of its throat. Fionna knew that the dragon would kill them where they stood if she didn't do something.

"Wait!" She squeaked loudly, leaping out from behind Marshall. The dragon, surprised, extinguished its fire. "Please don't kill us!" Fionna stalled, frantically trying to think up some sort of plan. Marshall and Cake looked at her like she was crazy.

"What are you doing?" Cake hissed and Fionna waved her off.

"Trust me!" Fionna hissed back before turning her attention back to the dragon.

"And why shouldn't I?" The dragon asked, his voice a dangerous growl. Fionna gulped. What had happened to the uncertain and meek dragon in the dark?

"Because…if you kill us, we won't tell you where the Elixir is!" She shouted and Marshall smacked his forehead. Cake shook her head and whispered something that suspiciously sounded like 'we're dead.'

The dragon snorted. "I already know where it is." It started to gather fire again and Fionna waved her arms wildly.

"Okay, okay! Fine! You know where it's at, but….but…what if we let you have it?"

"Fionna…" Marshall's warning was clear in his voice. He didn't like where she was going with this. For the first time Fionna wondered if maybe the Vampire had some sort of personal gain with finding the Elixir.

"Let…me have it?" The dragon repeated hesitantly in disbelief. "But I'm supposed to guard it." He frowned in confusion and lowered its head until the dragon was eye level with Fionna. She wanted to run away, far away. She wanted to be anywhere but here but Fionna had to get them out of this. "What is your proposition, young one?" She resisted the urge to plug her nose. His breath stank!

"Well…if you beat us in a tickle fight, we'll let you have the Elixir." The dragon puffed a cloud of smoke from his nostrils. The smell of charcoal enveloped Fionna as the cloud descended on the three of them. She resisted the urge to cough and sputter as the dragon drew his head back, his expression thoughtful.

"And what if you win?" Fionna shrugged as if the outcome meant nothing to her.

"Then you'll let us pass without incident and we get to have the Elixir." The dragon frowned, still thoughtful, before it gave a toothy grin.

"Challenge accepted." Without any warning the dragon darted forward with lightning speed towards Fionna. With a startled squeak, the girl darted to her right the same time her friends decided to dart to their left. They all collided and the dragon gave a roar of triumph and gave another surge of speed to catch them in mid air. However, the trio fell to the ground too fast and the dragon overshot them. It was like a constant roll of thunder as the dragon ran over them. Fionna covered her ears again as she clambered to her feet. Marshall and Cake were doing the same.

"Quick! Grab onto his feet!" Fionna shouted and they leapt into action. Marshall latched onto the foot Fionna did while Cake darted for the other one. When Fionna was firmly latched she then began to climb.

"What're you doing!?" Marshall demanded, looking up at Fionna with a look that seemed like he was trying to decide if she was being stupid or suicidal.

"I'm looking for an easier target to tickle!" She shouted back down at him and continued to climb. She heard Marshall make a loud "Tsk!" noise before a rush of air ruffled her hair. Marshall glared at Fionna, easily keeping up with her as she slowly climbed up the dragon's leg.

"When are you going to ask me for help?" He snarled and Fionna gave him a smug look.

"Weren't you the one who told me to start taking care of myself?" Marshall threw his hands up in the air before shooting upwards. Finding an arm to his liking he began to tickle the dragon's under arm. The dragon stopped charging and reared himself to his full height. Cake gave a loud yowl of protest to draw Fionna's attention. She glanced down to see Cake climbing up as well. Guess she couldn't tickle his feet if he was standing on them.

"Hey! What are you doing!? Stop that!" The dragon roared between laughter. He started to wriggle and squirm, his large body swaying wildly as he tried to knock them off. His size was a huge disadvantage though and the three were able to cram themselves in a spot where the dragon couldn't reach them. The dragon continued to roar his frustration, but his roars quickly subsided into laughter. The large serpent fell to the ground with a loud _thud_ and laughed so hard that he started to cry, clearly showing that the challenge was over.

"Stop! Stop! I give!" The dragon relented and Fionna stopped with a triumphant smile. Marshall and Cake wore similar expressions on their faces as they clambered onto the dragon's chest.

"So? You'll let us go?" Fionna asked and the dragon weakly nodded, his throat still rumbling with laughter.

"…Defeated by humans…who would have thought…?" Marshall looked offended and was about to say something but Fionna slapped a hand over his mouth, hissing for him to be quiet. She didn't want to find another reason for the dragon to keep them from the Elixir of Life. The serpent could easily kill them with a flick of his talons. At least this way they were leaving on friendly terms.

The trio quickly scurried away, leaving the dragon to mope for his recent loss. His self-pitying moans reverberated through the chamber as Marshall led Fionna and Cake to the exit. He opened a large wooden door with little effort and then pushed them inside. Fionna stumbled through the door with a startled "Hey!" before she realized there was no floor for her to stand on. It was like falling into a pitch black chasm. The bottom was nowhere in sight and as she tumbled to her death, the dim light of the opened doorway got smaller and smaller. Cake let out a startled shout as she was pushed in next and then Marshall jumped in after them.

Marshall jumped after them too? Didn't he just push them to their deaths? She didn't know. She was too scared to think much of anything and her body seemed only capable of screaming as they all continued to tumble down to their doom.

_**xxXXxx**_

Fionna opened her eyes. Her body ached all over and the sun shined relentlessly. She quickly shut her eyes, rubbing them in a futile attempt to make them adjust faster. What had happened? They had fought the dragon and won and then….Fionna froze. They had been pushed into a chasm! Her eyes snapped open and she sat up quickly, immediately regretting it when her vision began to swim. Holding her head Fionna moaned softly. Hearing responding moans Fionna dared to open her eyes and looked over at her friends.

Her friends were nowhere in sight.

In their places were a dog and another girl. Fionna screamed and scrambled to her feet, keeping her eyes trained on the potential threats in front of her.

"Who are you!?" She demanded, her body trembling. She was exhausted and the last thing she needed was a fight. Where were Cake and Marshall? Didn't they come down with her?

The dog and girl moaned again, probably from her unwelcome shouting, before looking up blearily. Their eyes widened at the sight of her and they scrambled to their feet too.

"What do you mean who are we? Who are you!?" The dog demanded and the girl took a defensive stance, her expression feral…and oddly familiar. "Where's Fionna?" The girl snarled. Fionna was utterly confused. Who were these people? How did they know her name but not know who she was?

"Where am I? I'm right here!"

"Oh please! You're not Fionna! Fionna's a girl!"

"Hellooooo!? Are you blind? I am a—" Fionna stopped mid-sentence. Her voice sounded different. Very different. It was deeper and undoubtedly masculine. Trembling, Fionna glanced down at herself and let out a girly squeak. She…She…

"I'm a boy!?" Fionna shrieked, running her hands across her torso in disbelief. Yep. She was a boy alright. She was missing a couple essential assets to being a girl. Eyes wide, she looked back at the girl and dog. They were staring at her, utterly confused. Turning to look at each other, the two gave startled yelps before falling down to the ground on their rumps. The girl was pointing a disbelieving finger at the dog and the animal seemed unable to form words.

"You're-You're….you're a dog! Cake! What the hell happened to you!?"

"What happened to me? What happened to you!? You're a girl!" Fionna could only stare. What had happened to all of them? Why had she and Marshall switched genders? Why was Cake suddenly a dog? Marshall got to back to his –er, her—feet, and floated over to her, his gaze assessing. He moved behind her and Fionna craned her head to see him.

"Hmmm, even as a guy, you still have a nice butt." Fionna's whole face felt like it was on fire. Out of nowhere a small, green bard appeared and started strumming a small guitar instrument. He started singing about a "blushing baby" and for some reason Fionna felt horrified.

"I'm NOT a baby!" She found herself screaming and the bard danced away, laughing. He disappeared and Fionna covered her mouth, shocked at her violent outburst. Marshall and Cake were staring at her, confused. "I didn't mean to—why did I say that?" She asked herself, a tremor of fear entering her voice. That voice, that thought, had come out of nowhere. It had not been her own and seemed to have reacted on some memory from long before.

Marshall had wandered over to a tree that was nearby, completely ignoring what was going on. He floated up into the branches, allowing Fionna to get a good look at his new body. It was definitely feminine, the type of skinny she wished she could have been in her normal body. The now-a-girl Marshall was wearing skin tight blue jeans, knee-high boots, and an a-shirt that had various holes in it suggesting it was well-worn. Instead of Marshall's short hair, the body he was in had hair that fell all the way to the back of her knees. It shone in the sunlight, looking almost glossy. Marshall, finding what he was looking for, plucked a shiny red apple from the tree and turned to find Fionna, to her horror, still staring at him. He smirked and gave a pose, a straw hat shielding him from the sun.

"You like?"

"Shut up…" Fionna mumbled, unable to come up with a better come-back. This body had an obvious attraction to that body and she did not want to start liking girls. Marshall laughed and bit into the apple, sucking out the color of it, leaving only a pale, withered fruit. Fionna frowned.

"Red? You hate red! You always eat black…"

"Well, it seems like the bodies we're inhabiting still have their own preferences and tendencies. It explains why Cake is scratching her butt along the grass." The two turned to see Cake, in her new form, doing exactly that. She was now bright yellow and…well, a complete dog. Cake didn't seem a bit embarrassed from her new found habit. She calmly got to her paws and walked over to them.

"This is awesome!" Cake shouted loudly, her fists shoved into the air. Fionna shook her head.

"Aren't you even a little concerned?"

"Nope! I still have my stretchy powers so I'm good!" Fionna shook her head again.

"I wonder what happened…?" Marshall nodded thoughtfully.

"Me too, but I guess we'll find out eventua—"

"Finn! Jake! Marceline!" Their bodies instinctively looked up to see a very pink and feminine figure running towards them. Her heart started to pump wildly as the pink person got closer and closer. Her hair was long, even longer than Marshall's, and she was dressed in a formal pink gown, complete with a tiara. She must be royalty. For some reason she reminded Fionna of Prince Gumball.

"I've been looking for you guys all over! Didn't you guys say you wanted to look for the Elixir of Life?"

The three shared a look. Well that was easy.

"Hey PB!" The greeting came out of Fionna's mouth easily, again, against her will. She didn't even know this person yet this body easily supplied her with the information she needed. "Yeah, we were just about to head out!" She glanced over at Cake and Marshall and they were eagerly nodding their heads to support her. 'PB' just laughed, smacking Fionna on the shoulder. She resisted the urge to wince and rub her shoulder.

"You are so silly! I'm the only one who has the map! That's why you were meeting me!"

"Uh-Uh…Oh yeah! I was just messing with ya PB!" Fionna laughed shakily, hoping this strange woman wouldn't catch her lie. Thankfully she didn't and PB dug into her pouch she was carrying and brought out a faded piece of paper. It was cracked and covered with dust, more than enough evidence that it was ancient.

"Here ya go Finn!" She held out the map to Fionna. With a jolt Fionna realized this 'PB' was talking to her and quickly snatched the map out of her hands. So she was apparently named 'Finn' in this body. Interesting. That obviously made Cake 'Jake' and Marshall 'Marceline.' Fionna had to keep herself from laughing. Their names weren't that different at all!

"Thanks PB! Are you coming with us?" Fionna –Finn—asked hopefully. What sounded like a growl came from Marshall and Fionna glanced at him to see a startled expression on his face. Apparently he hadn't meant to growl. Thankfully the pink woman didn't notice. Or pretended not to.

"Sorry Finn! You know I can't go. I have a kingdom to run, you know." It looked like PB was going to lean in to give 'Finn' a hug but she seemed to think better of it and stayed put. Fionna's heart ached at the answer, surprising her at how much that answer had meant to 'Finn.' An unconcealed sound of triumph came from Marshall. Fionna had a sneaking suspicion that 'Marceline' did not like this 'PB.'

"Oh, it's okay. Another time then…" PB gave a friendly wave as she ran back to wherever she came from, disappearing over a hill.

"Finally! She's gone!" Marshall shouted as he stretched, his body seeming to relax now that PB was out of sight. "She was definitely going to ruin our fun!" Fionna was surprised at how angry the comment made her but she bottled the emotion up. It was time she gained some control over this body or the foreign emotions would drive her insane.

"Lets just get out of here! The sooner we find the Elixir, the sooner things will get back to normal." Fionna grumbled before slowly unrolling the map. At least, she hoped things would get back to normal. She didn't want to be a boy forever, and this attraction to both this 'PB' and 'Marceline' was going to grate on her nerves. Her body didn't seem to know how to act around PB but seemed a lot more comfortable with Marceline. It was strange and Fionna just wanted it to end. Cake moved behind Fionna and stretched high enough to see over her shoulder.

Looking at the map it seemed like the Elixir was located in a temple not far from where they were at. How Fionna knew that she wasn't sure. She just assumed that Finn already had that information handy. "Follow me!"

_**xxXXxx**_

Fionna looked over at Marshall. "Is this it?" He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Hello? We're currently not in our world right now. How should I know?" Fionna grumbled something to herself that involved strangling smart-mouthed vampires before examining the structure before her. It was a large ziggurat. Basically a huge step temple that looked like it was made up of blocks, the largest starting on the bottom and the smallest on the top. It was in various stages of decay. Some sides were eroded by the elements while the rest was covered in vegetation. It screamed "Go away!" but Fionna knew that the end of the journey lay deep in its depths.

Cake huddled by Fionna's leg and looked up at her. Fionna had to remind herself the dog was her friend even though he looked nothing like her feline companion. "I don't want to go in there…" Fionna smiled softly and stroked the dog's head soothingly.

"It'll be alright Cake. Besides, don't you want to get back to normal? Maybe this temple has the answers." Cake looked doubtful but dutifully followed them up the steps and inside.

It smelled and felt damp. The inside was too dark for Fionna to see anything and she groped the air for Marshall's hand. Due to her most recent escapade in the dark that resulted in some weird gender-swap, Fionna was even more afraid of the dark. What happened only strengthened her belief that the dark was foreboding and you never knew what could be hiding in its depths. Marshall's hand felt cool against her own and she wasn't surprised when Cake wormed her paw into her other hand. Fionna smiled in the darkness. She was glad to have her friends beside her. Having gone through all these trials she knew they could be trusted through thick and thin…though Marshall was kind of a wild card. He just did what he wanted, though he seemed to keep her best interests at heart.

Their footsteps echoed throughout the large temple and the trio huddled closer as the chill drafts of air caused them to shiver. Cobwebs covered the halls and Fionna could have sworn that she saw a couple small shadows shift on the ceiling. She stifled a squeak. Bats? Really? Could this day get any worse?

Fionna's eyes caught on a bit of light up ahead. "Is that a way out?" Without any urging, the three walked a little faster with a known destination in sight. The light steadily got bigger and bigger until they entered a large room. When they passed the entryway there was a bright, green flash that blinded them all. Fionna staggered but quickly regained her footing.

"Well that was weird." Marshall muttered as he rubbed his head. When Fionna glanced over at him she almost shouted with joy,

"Marshall!" She shrieked and the Vampire looked up with an irritated look at the loud sound.

"What?"

"You're back to normal!"

Marshall jumped off the ground and floated in the air, craning his neck as far as he could to try and investigate said changes. When he seemed satisfied, he ran his hands across his chest and sighed. "That's one thing I'll miss about being a girl. I don't understand how you women don't mess with them." Looking at Fionna, he tossed her a crooked grin that only got even wider when she turned a deep shade of red.

"Pervert!" She retorted in an angry hiss before stomping ahead of them. Marshall laughed, earning a hiss from Cake who leaped at him and tried to pummel him with her paws. The Vampire laughed harder as he held the furious cat away from him.

"Will you two come on?" Fionna demanded, her face still red. She couldn't tell if he was following, but Fionna could imagine that he was still grinning like the fool he was. She couldn't believe that he had said such a thing! And what was the appeal of breasts anyway? Weren't they just globs of fat? Cake, having enough of Marshall, scampered to her side with a triumphant look in her eyes. Fionna laughed at the sight then turned to look back at the Vampire. He had scratch marks all over his face, but they were healing rapidly. Not wanting to burst Cake's bubble, Fionna lovingly patted the feline on the head.

"You sure showed him." She said warmly and Cake beamed with pride.

Looking up, Fionna was stunned at what she saw. They were in a large room that looked like it was located directly in the center of the temple. The entire room was hollow, the ceiling leading up to a neat and square patch of sunlight. It was incredibly high. Only someone with powers like Marshall could get out that way. Though Cake could get out with her stretching powers. However, what caught her attention was at the center of the room. There, on a pedestal, sat a tall glass filled to the brim with a clear liquid. Fionna's eyes widened at the sight and she rushed forward. "The Elixir!" What else could it be? Cake was right at her heels, but a shadow flashed overhead and Fionna let out a grunt of frustration when Marshall appeared in front of them. He swiped the glass and leaned against the pedestal, downing the glass in one huge gulp.

Fionna skidded to a halt, Cake slamming into the back of her legs and causing the both of them to fall to the ground. Sprawled at an awkward angle, Fionna struggled to lift her head to look at the Vampire, anger written all over her face. "Y-You _drank_ it!?" The disbelief in her voice was evident as she stared at her friend.

"Well yeah, I was really thirsty." Marshall told her with a straight face as if what he said was the most logical thing in the world. "Besides, it's just water."

Fionna, who was struggling to get back onto her feet while Cake was trying to detangle herself in the mass of limbs, froze. Her attention snapped back to Marshall who had a smug grin on his face.

"Did you just say the Elixir was just water…?" She demanded, praying that she had heard wrong.

"Yeah. Water does sustain life ya know."

"But it doesn't give you immortality!" Fionna was now on her feet and shouting at the arrogant vampire who calmly stood before her, holding that empty glass that she had been so determined to obtain all day. The reason why she stood before him battered, bruised, and exhausted.

"Okay, so I might have exaggerated, but I had to get you to come somehow. You can't get this water anywhere else!"

Fionna was practically trembling in her rage as she took a menacing step towards Marshall. Cake was right behind her, her teeth bared in a ferocious snarl that made Fionna glad the feline was on her side. The Vampire was unfazed. In fact, he only seemed to find their reactions hilarious which only added fuel to her fire. They had traveled all this way, had almost died more times than she could count, all for an Elixir that hadn't even been real! She slowly drew her sword and rushed towards Marshall with the intent to maim.

"I'll kill you!" She screamed and slashed down where Marshall stood. Her sword clanked loudly against the stone pedestal and Marshall's laughter mocked her from above. Fionna glared at the steadily rising Vampire as he continued to cackle.

"Hey Fionna, maybe we can hang out some other time, okay? Today was fun!" Fionna screamed in frustration and threw her sword at Marshall. She missed by a mile. "Catch ya later!" Fionna's screams of outrage drowned out Marshall's laughter as he floated away, leaving them on their own to figure out how to get back home.


End file.
